Dear Knitter

6 May


Dear Knitter, 

Remember the sweater that you knit for your dear relative? The one with the thick hairy gray yarn? I can tell you put a lot of time into the project, what with all those canadian geese stitched in (or are they seagulls? It’s hard to tell). I am sorry to report that the sweater didn’t work out so well. I can see why the recipient might have found the sweater a little uncomfortable, what with all the bristly fibers sticking out all over the place. I wonder if there might be a sizing issue too, since it appears that you like to make the neck holes on your sweaters particularly tiny. 

Before you dismay that all of your hard work was for nothing, let me assure you. I really appreciate your efforts, and am putting your fine sweater to good use. After rescuing it from a thrift store rack, I have washed it in the hottest water possible and shrunk it to diminutive proportions. It is now a third of it’s original size and pleasantly thick and will make a lovely book cover, I think, once I cut around all those mystery birds. 

Thanks again, 



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